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food_003

Daylight and everything.

File not found. It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. I had more, but you go ahead. And until then, I can never die? You’re going back for the Countess, aren’t you?

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. But I’ve never been to the moon! Then we’ll go with that data file! I love you, buddy! Negative, bossy meat creature! Say it in Russian!

Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.

You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Now what? Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat.

  1. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own!
  2. Ummm…to eBay?
  3. Ok, we’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go ride the bumper cars.

And when we woke up, we had these bodies.

I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! I had more, but you go ahead. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?

  • And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!
  • Who are you, my warranty?!
  • Oh yeah, good luck with that.

I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Ummm…to eBay? Hey, whatcha watching? Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long.

And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr. I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat.

That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! I’ll get my kit! That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.

A true inspiration for the children. Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. I love you, buddy!

Who’s brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere? Oh God, what have I done? Hello, little man. I will destroy you! Is that a cooking show? Ok, we’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go ride the bumper cars.

Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. Tell them I hate them. Soon enough.

I never loved you. Shinier than yours, meatbag. Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! But I’ve never been to the moon! Soon enough.

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?

Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Oh, you’re a dollar naughtier than most. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! You don’t know how to do any of those.

Fry, we have a crate to deliver. Why would I want to know that? Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. Why would I want to know that? Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages!

Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Large bet on myself in round one. Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Skills

Posted on

August 6, 2016

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